What are boundaries?
Boundaries are limits and rules we set in our life. These limits and rules represent the life we desire to live. Without healthy boundaries we are not honoring ourselves and our needs. We are ignoring what is important to us. Boundaries can be set with anyone in your life; partner, family, friends, co-workers and most importantly with yourself.
Tyres/Examples of boundaries
There are many different boundaries you can set. In particular physcial, emotional, time and non-negotiables are four that are very popular and common.
Physical boundaries refer to any part of your body, personal space and privacy.
- Personal space boundary could be how close someone can sit next to you or come within your space
- Body boundary could be you only want to fuel your body with whole foods and you need a rest day once a week
- Privacy boundary could be centred around a space in your home that is just for you
Emotional boundaries are to protect your thoughts and feelings. They are put in space to protect us from the judgements of others, feeling criticised or unvalued.
An emotional boundary could be;
- I don’t want to discuss this topic
- I feel embrassed when you criticise me in front of others
- I want to be heard not judged
Time boundaries relate to how and who you spend your time with. These boundaries ensure we don’t say “YES” to the things we want to say “NO” to, they protect us from working outside of hours and surrounding ourselves with those we don’t want to.
A time boundary could be;
- No working after 5pm
- Evenings for family time
- Allowing yourself one hour a day of “ME TIME”
- Saying “NO” to the things and people who don’t light your soul up
Non-neogotiable boundaries are the absolute must haves and you won’t budge on them. They protect of our safety.
Non-negotiables could be;
- Security system at home
- Only attend places you feel safe
A non-negotiable boundary is something you must enforce. It should come from your heart and have meaning to you.
Where to start on creating some boundaries?
- Reflect on your life
- Identify areas where you feel your limits are being pushed
- Start small, set some small, practical boundaries to begin with
- Write them down
- Keep yourself accountable to them
- Speak about them, the more you talk about them the more they will become second nature
- Practise them
- Enforce them
- Practise gratitude for these boundaries being met
Feel free to DM me with you experience of setting boundaries.
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